Black Fathers Speak Series: Fatherhood, Just Do It.

Name: Chris
Age: 31
City: Indianapolis, In
Children: Xavier (8) & Mayson (4)
IG: justdoitsulley
Twitter: justdoitsulley

Becoming a Father

When I found out that I was going to be a father, my first thought was “Damn, at least I made it out of college with my degree and a job lined up.” I was a senior with the spring semester left to go. I knew I had prepared but I also knew I had to take it up a notch and stay on my shit! This was my chance to do everything my biological father did not do. Doing so was never difficult and I was never worried as I welcomed the lifelong challenge. I accepted fatherhood so easily because I had the perfect example of who I did not want to be. I was shown what an absentee father was and I planned to be the exact opposite! 


Stability & A Strong Black Male Influence

My stepfather came into my life at age 8. He married my mom and added a level of stability we did not have. We ate dinner together every night as a family and cleaned up the kitchen together right after. Although, sometimes I tried to “use the bathroom” the whole time everyone was cleaning. We genuinely had a unit—a stable one at that! His favorite saying was “If you don’t do it right the first time, how could you ever find time to do it again?” This is a saying I live by and remember to this day as I go through daily tasks and life in general. My stepfather was stern and I think that instilled a strictness that is not overbearing but the presence is felt. I think his style of parenting taught me how to be present in every moment. This is true no matter how tired I am or how hard work or other worldly affairs may be.

Xavier, 8, Loves playing basketball and Fortnite.
Mayson, 4, Intelligent and inquisitive with a big imagination.

My Greatest Joy

I would say my greatest challenge is patience. With the eager minds of active children, there is always a question with a follow-up question locked and loaded—not to mention the attitude and emotions.

I would say my greatest 2 joys in life are seeing my children’s happiness and growth. It makes me feel amazing to see their lights grow and shine. My son. I want him to grow up to be a better man than me so I push and challenge him while also ensuring he’s in touch with his emotions. My daughter. I want her to stay my small little baby. I cherish her youth and giggles, her “daddy, I need you” or “I want to lay on you, daddy.” Sometimes I get sad thinking about how she won’t be my little girl sooner than later. 

A Word of Advice

To my young fathers I would say be patient, stay committed and present. You’ve been chosen to raise a black queen or king and they need you. They need your love and guidance. Don’t leave them to face the world alone. 

About Author

Hi! I’m Geneeka! The M&M's and Three's mommy. I was born in Indianapolis, IN, raised in Hopkinsville, KY and made my way back to Indy after finishing undergrad at the University of Kentucky. It is my goal to empower single mothers to continue to find time for themselves and to continue to pursue their goals and aspirations.

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