Green Bean Goulash, a name I made up on the fly, is a recipe that’s been in my family and our social circle for decades. It consists of green beans, smoked sausage, potatoes, and onions. It was also my daughters first solid food, as it blends up quite nicely. She left me a lovely, smelly [...]
When we went to the park on that beautiful Saturday, it wasn’t because I wanted to do some super cool activity with my kids. It was because I didn’t feel like being a mom that day...In stumbling upon that river, we stumbled upon a new family experience & I discovered the joy.
“It was too cold to rally the troops and go to the store, and again, it wasn't a pay week. The kids were on my heels, asking for snacks and food, anything that would go in their stomachs really, so demanding! What could I make that was quick and wouldn't constipate my kids? I went searching in my kitchen...”
I imagined motherhood to be this beautiful experience. I imagined caring for my children and loving them the way that only a mother could. I imagined a family. My family. The reality was, it was just me, and maybe not even for very much longer.
Going to therapy helped me understand how all those past traumas shaped me as a man. It made me understand my role in this world and why I was the father that I was. I needed to be able to heal and forgive myself before I could be the dad that my children deserved.